On the way to Grandma's house, Red Riding Hood was accosted by a wolf, who asked her what was in her basket. "Some healthful snacks for my grandmother, who is certainly able to take care of herself as a mature adult."

The wolf said, "you know, my dear, it isn't safe for a little girl to walk through these woods alone."

Red Riding Hood said, "I find your sexist remark offensive in the extreme, but I will ignore it because of your traditional status as an outcast from society, the stress of which has caused you to develop your own, entirely valid, world view. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must by on my way."

Red Riding Hood walked along the main path. But, because his status outside society has saved him from slavish adherence to linear, Western-style thought, the wolf knew a quicker route to Grandma's house. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.

Then, unhampered by the rigid, traditionalist notions of what was masculine or feminine, he put on Grandma's nightclothes and crawled into bed.

Red Riding Hood entered the cottage and said, "Grandma, I have brought you some fat-free, sodium-free snacks to salute your in your role of a wise and nurturing matriarch."

From the bed, the wolf said softly, "Come closer, my child, so that I might see you."

Red Riding Hood said, "Oh, I forgot you are as optically challenged as a bat, Grandma, what big eyes you have !"

"They have seen much, and forgiven much, my dear."

Grandma, what big nose you have - only relatively, of course, and certainly attractive in its onw way."

"It has smelled much, and forgiven much, my dear."

"Grandma, what big teeth you have !"

The wolf said, "I'm happy with who I am and what I am," and leaped out of bed. He grabbed Red Riding Hood in his claws, intent on devouring her. Red Riding Hood screamed, not out of alarm at the wolf's apparent tendency towards cross-dressing, but because of his willful invasion of her personal space.

Her screams were heard by a passing woodchopper-person (or log-fuel technician, as he preferred to be called). When he burst into the cottage, he saw the melee and he tried to intervene. But, as he raised his ax, Red Riding hood and the wolf stopped.

"And just what do you think you're doing ?" asked Red Riding Hood.

The woodchopper-person blinked and tried to answer, but no words came to him.

"Bursting here like a Neanderthal, trusting your weapon to do your thinking for you !" she exclaimed. "Sexist, Speciesist ! How dare you assume that women and wolves can't solve their own problems without a man's help !"

When she heard Red Riding Hood's impassioned speeeh, Grandma jumped out of the wolf's mouth, seized the woodchopper's-person ax, and cut his head off.

After this ordeal, Red Riding Hood, Grandma and the wolf felt a certain commonality of purpose. They decided to set up an alternative household based on mutual respect and cooperation, and they lived happily together in the woods ever after.